The Depression Stage of Grief

Grief can evoke an overwhelming wave of emotions. From shock and denial to anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, grief has many stages. While not everyone will go through each stage in order, most will experience the stages to varying degrees.  

When someone reaches the depression stage of grief, it's typically because the reality of the circumstances and the finality of death has begun to sink in. This natural stage in grief must be passed through to move on to acceptance. But what exactly does the depression stage entail? 

Here are a few signs that someone may be in the depression stage of grief:

• Overwhelming sadness – When you lose someone you love, at some point, a deep sadness will begin to set in. While previously, you may have been able to pull yourself together. However, in the depression stage, your sadness can feel less controllable.

• Loss of interest – The overwhelming sadness you feel after the death of someone you love can also cause you to lose interest in things you once loved. Whether it's hobbies or even social settings, nothing feels exciting or worth the energy to go.

• Isolation – The emotions of grief may cause you to feel safer in isolation. This could be the discomfort you have with showing your emotions publicly or even anxiety about whether you'll be unexpectedly asked about your loved one. 

• Physical symptoms – Grief isn't just an emotional experience. Grief encompasses the body, mind, and soul. It will affect you on a physical, spiritual, and psychological level. It's normal for you to go through a period of physical exhaustion, loss of appetite, or trouble sleeping. You may also have brain fog and difficulty remembering things. You may also go through a period of wrestling with your faith or belief system.

• Guilt and self-blame – As you walk through the depression stage of guilt, you may feel an overwhelming sense of guilt, blaming yourself for not doing more. Or that you couldn't prevent the death of someone you love. 

Depression is a normal part of the grieving process and a way of expressing the intense emotions that come with loss. It's important to differentiate that while the depression stage of grief may look like clinical depression, it is not the same. Death is, in fact, a depressing experience. And it's entirely normal to feel depressed after losing someone you love. And there is no pre-determined "safe" timeframe for how long this stage will last.

The depression stage becomes unhealthy when you operate in isolation more than in a supportive group. When you fully disconnect from people who love and want to help you. If your thoughts about the death of your loved one cause you to consider suicide, get help immediately. 

Remember, the process of grief will always be unique to you. It's not a linear process, and you may experience all the stages of grief or only a few. The key is finding healthy coping mechanisms and reaching out for help when needed or beginning to see unhealthy thoughts and behaviors.