The Acceptance Stage of Grief

Dealing with grief after the loss of someone you love brings an overwhelming range of emotions with it. These stages of grief include shock and denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Acceptance means the act of accepting something or something as fact. But what does that actually look like when you’re processing the grief after the loss of someone you love?

Here are a few signs that you may be in the acceptance stage of grief:

• Acknowledging the loss – You begin to engage reality as it is rather than getting stuck in a cycle of how it should be or could have been. This will change the way you think and speak about the loss of your loved one. You will be able to communicate your emotions in a healthy, open, honest, and more controlled way.

• Finding a new normal – This doesn’t ignore the loss or pretend it didn’t happen. You will begin to see the loss for what it is and accept the changes it brings to your life, relationships, and day-to-day activities and engagements.

• Moving forward – Moving forward is not moving on. This is when you see that even without them in your life physically, you still have a great purpose in your life. And you can move forward to fulfill that purpose while carrying them with you in your heart.

• Finding peace – This doesn’t mean that you’re happy about the loss or that you’ve moved on. You begin to make peace with their passing and while it may have left a void in your life, you are no longer warring against what should’ve happened or how you could’ve done things differently. You are coping and adapting in healthy ways.

• Being grateful – You will begin to think and reflect on the life of the one who passed away and be grateful for the time you had and the memories you made together. This may give you more joy in your thoughts and memories than pain.

In the 1800s, the English poet Alfred, Lord Tennyson penned the famous words, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” This perfectly summarizes the acceptance stage of grief. It’s the ability to look at the life of someone you loved and lost with all its pain and heartbreak and see the love far outweighs the pain of the loss. 

Remember, grief doesn’t always move forward in a neat predictable way. Getting to the acceptance stage doesn’t mean that somehow you’ve arrived or completed your grief process. You should anticipate setbacks with birthdays, holidays, death anniversaries, or intrusive thoughts and memories. 

But overall, you may find that you have a more positive and hopeful outlook on life, giving you more good days than bad days. You may notice you’re more mindful and present. You will experience more clear-headed thinking that allows you to care for yourself again and take ownership of your actions and reactions.

Continue to give yourself time and grace in your grief journey. Surround yourself with those who love you and can support you in healthy ways.